Half the time I was trying to push them away, but it only had the opposite effect. Somehow I was able to lure these creatures into my lair. It was after my crazy night with Pen (more on that in a minute) that I realized I had found my niche in life. Not the sex or even the conquest, but the causing of pain.
Nothing unusual about my method, everyone did it. Then as one went onto the scrap heap, a new one would take her place. The idea was to have an impressive queue so that when one girl neared maturity, usually after about three or four dates with some phone calls in between, another would be introduced. None of the girls were supposed to know this. Because I was freelance I could be my own man, so to speak, and I would keep myself busy by ensuring I had dates lined up. I never looked like a drunk, I just was one, and anyway in those days advertising was a far more boozy affair than it is today. And after that I got job after job without too much trouble. Even in art school, I got a grant because my dad had just retired and I suddenly became eligible. Strangely, I was always able to get money. A contradiction in terms if ever there was one. I was working freelance in advertising all through this period in London. The deeper in they were, the more beautiful they looked when the moment came. All those intimate moments, every little sigh, those gentle touches, the lovemaking, the confidences, the orgasms, the attempted orgasms, all mere fuel. There was just the two of us and the pain. They'd just stare at me in disbelief and shock.Īll the pretense and rules dissolved away. He'd done it, though, because I'd been taking the pith out of hiths listhp.
I was lucky to get out of that house alive. One of my ‘victims’ stuck my head on an electric cooker-ring. And then when he'd head-butt me, I'd say, “Call that a head-butt?’ So the guy would do it again harder. I'd go up to the biggest guy in the place and look up his nostrils and call him a faggot. My mouth always got me into trouble, of course. But then, as far as I was concerned, wasn’t everyone doing the same thing? I started to realize something was wrong when I began to get beaten up. I think I always knew deep down I had a drinking problem. Either way, after getting into Alcoholics Anonymous I didn't even kiss a girl for five years. Or maybe I was just afraid that they'd see through me. I couldn't even look at a girl, much less believe I deserved to converse with one. I carried the guilt of my crimes around with me for years after I stopped drinking. I've been punished, so it's okay to talk about it all. Balance has been restored The same thing happened to me, only worse. Then the glaze as they tried to hide how much I was hurting them. Till the big saucer eyes were looking at me. I'd wait until they were totally in love with me. I didn't care how long it took either because I was in no hurry.
#Diary of an oxygen thief series order serial
It's like when you hear serial killers say they feel no regret, no remorse for all the people they killed. Just don’t take the guy home with you.ĭiary of an Oxygen Thief is published by Corsair (£8.Mentally not physically, I never hit a girl in my life. The realistic nature of his story, stumbling over what happened when, looping back and forth in time to pick up dropped threads, contributes to its impact: you could be in a New York bar, lending a sympathetic ear to a self-pitying tale of woe. As it is, the reader becomes trapped inside the mind of a howling paranoid. A fiction would have more logic, more shape the wrongs done to Mr Anonymous would be more substantial and his outrage more proportionate. However, if one chooses to read it as an unfiltered account of real events, the strangely feverish splurge of the narrative makes more sense. One can never know to what extent this first-person account of a broken-hearted advertising creative who once “liked hurting girls” before the tables were turned on him is autobiographical, and there’s a strong argument for it not mattering. S ince the author of this short, anguished novel first self-published it in 2006, it has assumed cult status, with no shortage of readers testifying to its powerful effect.
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